As far as my life goals, I don’t think my child’s death changed them. It’s made me want to do them sooner. The reality that life is not a constant and is something that is taken for granted, so as far as what my goals were, they didn’t change but as far as doing them sooner we want to do everything now.
Being a voice for others
I think that this experience has shaped who I am as an individual completely. The good things there would be opening my eyes to things that need to be changed within our healthcare system, being an advocate and a voice for other families to have a good experience in pediatric palliative care, and having the opportunity to love an individual in that way was so unbelievably meaningful.
I went back to school to study law
I have a new goal in life after seeing her go through the hospital and other kids going through what she was going through, and being fortunate that I had insurance and that my child qualified for certain benefits. The way I keep her memory alive, in addition to thinking about her every day, is by going back to school with the goal of becoming an attorney to help other children. I am attending a pre law program with a goal of attending Law School. I want to specialize in legal advocacy and health care with a focus on children.
Enlightenment and personal development
Since Paulina’s passing, I promised Paulina that I would embark on a path of enlightenment and personal development and that I would go out and make a positive difference in people’s lives. I had a solid career in marketing and advertising before for fifteen years, and that’s something that I cannot bring myself to do now. So, I’m gradually retraining towards being a psychologist. So, I mean I’m starting out, and I’ve got a long way to go, and I’m taking it very, very slowly. I really have just this amazing amount of love to give and I guess just this need to be serviceful. Before, I was never a very outward person, I was quite shy. Now, I’m like if can do anything to help anybody in any way, I’m there and I don’t really give a damn about how I look or sound or what people think any more. And from that perspective, Paulina has shown me what is important in life, and it really is just very pure, and it doesn’t involve anything material.