Sometimes I do hide what I eat. Not when I’m at home, because I don’t care what my grandmother says. But when I’m at school I don’t like to eat in front of people. I’ll just wait until I get home or eat a light snack. Sometimes you can’t help but worry about what other people are thinking of you.
Tough girl
People often think that I am a tough girl because I am bigger than most other girls my age. They think I have a lot more power, but I really don’t.
New in town
People have made assumptions about me. When I first moved here, people didn’t talk to me at first, because they thought, “Oh, she’s just a miserable fat person; she’s not going to want to be friends with anybody. She’s just unhappy.” But then one or two people talked to me, and they decided, “Oh, she’s not that bad,” and spread the word. After that I had more friends. But at first, everyone was like, “Wow, she’s different.” In a small town, there are probably two or three people who are big. It’s a minority, so it’s different.
Social issue
Probably the whole social issue is the most difficult thing. A lot of kids are pretty used to the same kind of people they hang out with; they’re not really willing to meet different people. They’ll make fun of you if you’re different from them.
When people first meet me
The only time people make fun of me is when they first meet me. Once they get to know me they don’t care anymore. When people first meet me they think that I am a loser. They will sit there and make fun of me for no reason.
People mostly tease me behind my back. I know that they are talking about me and I try to ignore it. I want to yell at them, but I don’t, because I know and the teachers know that I am a good child and I don’t want to act out in the middle of class. But trust me; there have been times when I just wanted to rage at them.
Being teased
Sometimes it’s hard being overweight because you get teased a lot. And you don’t really like being teased, so it makes you feel aggravated and sad.
Assumptions
I’m sure some kids make assumptions about me because of my weight, especially the popular kids in my class. None of my friends do because they understand. People who don’t know what I’m dealing with probably judge me, but I don’t care about them.
Assumptions people make
There is one assumption that I always think about people making: if I’m eating lunch or something, they’ll think that fat people eat more. But that’s not necessarily true. When I used to get made fun of, there would always be fast food jokes, but the thing is, what if I had a disease that made me gain weight, or I was on medicine that made me gain weight? How terrible would they feel if I couldn’t help it? People just assume that fat people eat more and that they’re lazy.
Ignoring teasing
I think I was teased once in sixth grade, and I was just like, “Good job pointing out the obvious.” It doesn’t really bother me that much because I know I have [a weight] problem.
Other people probably assume that I eat too much, I’m lazy, I don’t do anything, and I sit around the house all day and stuff my face. They think things like that.
Talking about me
Sometimes I think people make assumptions about me. I was on a ton of medications and I was always really outgoing and happy, but then I went into this depression, and when I came out of it and started going out again, I was overweight. I just felt people were talking about me and thought there was something wrong with me, like I was crazy. I was very lucky in that I went through junior high and most of high school before my brain tumor. I didn’t even start gaining weight until I was 16, and I had a great group of friends who were very understanding. But my last years of high school were really hard. People said really cruel things. But going off to college was a wonderful experience. I went to a women’s college and people were so understanding. They didn’t even evaluate you based on the way you looked.