I think you have to feel good about yourself to feel good about anything. First, you have to have confidence in yourself. Nowadays, people form their first impression and they judge right away. I think that shouldn’t be the biggest thing, but for some people it is, like kids at school.
Sophomore semi formal
I always pick certain goals to help motivate myself. At the moment, I’m going into my sophomore year of high school, and at the end of the year we have a semi-formal, which is sort of the equivalent of a sophomore prom. I really want to go, I really want to have a date, and I really want to be able to wear a dress. But I know that I won’t go if I look the way that I do now. So that’s what I keep telling myself, when I decide that I’m going to change the way I eat and exercise more. I tell myself, “You have to lose this weight so that you can go to this dance. You really want to. If you want to wear the dress that you want, you have to lose weight.” I just keep telling myself that, and it helps me move along. It’s really important to me.
Things that motivate me
I didn’t have a motivation to lose weight until a college soccer coach opened up a window for me. The school is my number one choice, and he found out that I played soccer and called me. Also, I am a senior, and I’m going to Cancun with my friends to celebrate our last year, and I don’t want to look like the slob when I’m there. So those things are motivating me to lose weight.
Taking responsibility
I try to hide the fact that I am dieting. I know I shouldn’t feel embarrassed, but I am self-conscious about it, so I just try to hide it. If by chance the topic of my weight came up– say I brought it up– I would blame it on medication or my insulin levels being off. I have trouble taking responsibility for my weight gain.
When I’m older I want to join the military, so that motivates me to be healthier.
Taking teasing to heart
I’ve been teased a lot about my weight. I’d usually just brush it off and say, “Well, they don’t know me, and that’s their fault,” and things like that. But inside, I’d really take it to heart, and instead of trying to fix my problem, I’d go get myself a bag of chips or something. It’s really hard for me, because I’m a very emotional person. So, when people would make fun of me, all I felt like doing was going to my room and hiding and crying. And that’s how I really dealt with people making fun of me: secluding myself and trying to avoid people as much as possible instead of confronting them and saying, “You know, it’s not my fault.”
Old lady clothes
I got so frustrated right after my tumor with the plus size stores. The clothes there look like old lady clothes. I remember going to one shortly after I started gaining weight, and they had puffy pink t shirts and old lady house dresses, which was frustrating. I shopped for a long time at this one store in the mall, but then they changed ownership and it was all spandex stuff, and it used to drive me nuts to see a size 28 that was spandex. But I found a number of catalogs that made a difference. One of them is dedicated to the active life and plus size women. They have sportswear up to size 6X, and it’s made a big difference.
Clothing stores
It was hard to find clothes at first because I was never a straight size; I was always in between. Then I came across a store near my house that carries clothes for plus size girls and I went there and it was like a dream, because I could finally find clothes, and I wasn’t even buying the biggest size. In most clothing stores, I would have to buy the biggest size and it would make me feel bad about myself, but in this store they went up to the high twenties in sizes. It was actually like I was getting one of the smaller sizes, and that made me feel really good about myself.
I think my weight is more important to me than to anyone else, because I’m the one who has to live with it. I have to deal with being overweight. Other people don’t have to the way I do.
Keep working at it
I think the most difficult thing about losing weight is motivation. Sometimes you just don’t want to do it and you want to say, “Forget it.” But you can’t do that; you have to keep working at it.
Let it out
Talk to your parents about [teasing.] You can try to ignore how upset it makes you, but then it will just keep building up inside you until you explode. Let it out to your parents– vent. They will help you. Don’t keep it inside, because if you do, you will eventually blow. And confront the person who is bothering you. They will probably be shell shocked if you go up to them and tell them, “I really don’t like it when you tease me; please stop.” But if they just keep at you, tell your mom and dad.
Handling teasing
Here is one good example of when I’ve been teased. My best friend is a guy, and this other girl likes him. She keeps going up to him and saying, “Nina’s fat, so you shouldn’t like her. You should be my best friend, and you shouldn’t hang out with her anymore.” I didn’t really pay attention to her because I knew that my friend wouldn’t care what she said. So I didn’t say anything to her, but then she kept saying that to him, so I told a teacher and we handled it.
Usually on Halloween I eat one or two pieces of candy. Then when I get home I’ll put the rest of it up on top of the refrigerator. That gets it out of my mind.
Understanding people
One of the reasons I’ve really loved going into elementary education since then is I really love the way kids that age look at things. I remember substituting in a class one day, and a little boy came up to me and said, “My friend calls you fat, but I said to him, ‘You shouldn’t call her fat. She can’t help it; she had a brain tumor. You shouldn’t call her that because you don’t understand.'” I just loved hearing this from a kid; he had really learned something.
Sense of humor
One time in fifth grade this lady was talking about peanuts. She said they were full of fat, and I said, “Oh, that’s me–” I made a joke about myself. It helps me to keep my sense of humor.