One of the greatest stressors is when my daughter goes out with her friends on Friday and Saturday nights, like when she goes to the movies. I don’t want her to buy popcorn or the same snacks as her friends. I’m just trying to modify her food choices for her. Really, that is the biggest obstacle.
Fast food
Eating out has been affected. When my daughter goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t order French fries; she orders a salad instead, even though she’s seven and a half. It’s hard to see restaurants say no. We’ve seen restaurants tell her no, or ask her, “Will your mom pay an extra dollar?” That’s hard to see. We’ve had fast food places say, “No free toy” when she ordered a salad because she didn’t order one of those bad for you kids’ meals that they offer. We said, “We have two kids, so we’d like two toys.” And they said, “That’ll be an extra dollar for a toy for her,” even though the salad that she got actually costs more than the kid’s meal. That’s been hard to see, and it’s still something that hurts.
But on the positive side, it’s really nice to see her go and order the salad. It makes her proud, that she knows enough to do that, and she enjoys the salad. That’s the best thing– to know that she does it, and does it almost without thinking, at this point. I’m still mad at those fast food places. I’m like, “How much does a toy cost? Why can’t they put a salad in a kid’s meal?” Because that’s the hardest thing that we find when we’re going places: we have to be aware and set more time aside so that she can eat healthily.
Raising awareness
It’s been an inspiration to see her commit to something. We all completely support and encourage her all the time. It’s a big event when she tries a vegetable; here we all cheer at the table. We also learned a lot of things from the nutritionist. For example, we always used to drink skim milk, but we learned that skim milk isn’t really what we should be drinking; we should be drinking one percent milk because you’re not getting all of the nutrients and Vitamin D with skim milk. So now we are all drinking one percent milk instead of skim. And if you are watching television, which you are not supposed to do because it is so sedentary, you should also be doing something else, like playing solitaire or knitting. For example, when my son is watching television, I’ll put blocks out so that he will build; you actually burn more calories that way because you are using your mind, which I never realized. I think all of this has just raised the awareness of everybody in the family about what we eat, what we need to eat, and what we should and shouldn’t be eating. I think it has been a good thing for all of us.
The hardest thing
The biggest stressor for me has been seeing how other children treat her, the teasing. It’s been really hard. Seeing her hurt has got to be the hardest thing.
I think the greatest stressor that I perceive is getting clothes that fit right and fit comfortably. It’s frustrating when clothes don’t fit right, or when you bend over or move and they’re tight or they pinch. That’s the biggest frustration to get over. We’ve had to change the way he dresses, like getting him a shirt that doesn’t have to be tucked in, and things like that.
Calendar
The clinic has helped us to set goals, primarily by giving us a calendar. She fills her calendar with the activities that she’s done, and if she did a good job between visits, her nurse practitioner gives her something from a goody bag. Also, occasionally I’ll notice how well she’s done making healthy choices during a dinner, and I’ll say, “Here’s a cereal you haven’t had in a month or two; you can go ahead and get that.” It’s only going to be for a few mornings, but if she misses a food, I’ll add it back in for a limited time period.
Dealing with stress
My greatest stressor is my daughter worrying too much. She worries that she won’t lose, or that she gained a pound. So we don’t push that too much. I maybe weigh her once every two months, so we don’t stress her out. Also, seeing her brother eating things that she can’t is stressful for her.
Not that different
I hate that my child gets teased. I am trying to teach my children, “Don’t treat someone in a way that you wouldn’t want to be treated.” She’s not that terribly overweight; she’s not that big a girl. If you go walking through her school, you are going to see tons of kids her size; she didn’t have a lot of weight to lose.
Positive results
I can tell you this: if you do get going and you see even the smallest positive result, that is the greatest encouragement– just the smallest thing. My daughter and I went school shopping this week and she bought clothes that were one size smaller than last year’s. She was happy as a clam when she came out of that store. And I just try to reinforce it to her: “You know what? This is great, what you are doing!” I think it is important for your child to know that this is their thing; they should be in control of it, and you should be their partner.