When I get upset, I have locations where I go and just sit down and relax. I go for a drive and then I just sit in the sand and just relax. It’s pretty much just sitting by myself thinking about what exactly made me mad and why, as well. I usually sit in my car and I start working on it, modifying it.
Reading books
I like reading books when I feel like something’s going on in my life and I don’t want to remember it. I just start reading books about other people’s problems so that I don’t feel alone.
Meditation
I like to meditate. It’s so easy. You just have to clear your mind. I mostly would listen to music so I don’t have to have the noise all around me. Also I like to write. I specifically write poems, just to get it out there.
I love dancing, it definitely helps a lot. A great stress reliever. A lot of kids don’t know that there’s a lot of opportunities for dancing. Me and my friends host little parties, and we make sure we invite the correct people so nothing goes on. I can be dancing the whole entire time and it’s just, I forget about all the problems, everything I have.
A safe space
Some people might not want to tell anyone about a violent experience because they’re afraid of getting judged or marginalized by someone else. Or they’re afraid that it might put them into even more danger if someone knows. So one thing we should do to help is have a safe space where people are able to talk about how they feel, as well as how they can recover from it. It could help to have people who may have a similar experience there, as well. If it’s just you, you might be a lot more hesitant to really trust your experiences. But if you see someone else who’s around the same age group, who has a similar upbringing, who’s also had a very similar experience, I think it might give them the realization that they’re not alone and that there are other people here also.
Opportunity to talk about him
I think the only thing that can be effective in coping is time and the opportunity to talk about him and what the grieving process is like.
I go to the weight room to cope. That takes my mind off of everything. I don’t have to remember anything in the weight room, and it helps a lot.
At school I feel peace
When I’m in school I feel peace. When I work with my peers and I help them, and when I get support with teachers I feel peace.
Music takes my mind off the subject
The only way I found peace was through music. It helps me, still to this day, continue on and be strong in my mind. When I’m getting in trouble at home, or if I’m being stressed out from school, I find that music takes my mind totally off the subject, and I just find peace and relaxation. Or, I make my own music in the studio or write, which helps me express my feelings.
I’m part of a spoken word group. When we go out and perform, I feel good because I’ve done something that I love.
Contact with God
I’m not a very religious person, but I try to stay in contact with God as many times as possible. I find that when I do that, I feel more safe. I’m not worried. I trust in God that things will go easier.
You cannot lie to yourself
Don’t be afraid. Life is short. Be strong, be positive. It’s ok to be scared. Start to admit the problem. The reason people don’t feel better is because they don’t admit their problem. You can lie to other people, but you cannot lie to yourself. So be truthful to yourself. Be strong in your heart.
Every time I feel I help people, it makes me feel better. My philosophy is help at least ten people a day. I don’t care if it’s an old lady, a baby, or whoever, I will help you cross the street. Or at least say hi, say how are you doing. Start a random conversation.
Why do I feel tense?
Every day I meditate, and ask “what did I do today? Why do I sort of feel tense?” And I tell myself, “You know what, relax, take it easy, just chill out. Relax, you know.” Even when I keep breathing fast, I tell myself to stop, relax.
Being a strong-minded person
You have to endure hard stuff in your life in order to grow. If you just go with the flow all the time, you won’t be a strong-minded person. A lot of people need that kick or that boost to be on their toes, to make themselves stronger, more focused.