Just because of their clothing, people see my children and think “oh, that might be a violent little boy.” He might be the sweetest honor roll student ever, but just because of the clothes, he’s being judged. It’s really, really hard.
Perception is reality for folks
I have conversations with my son about how he’s dressed and the perceptions that people are going to have. Whether it’s right or wrong, it’s just a reality. You need to be aware in terms of how you behave and how you dress because people will have different perceptions. Whether they’re right or wrong, perception is reality for folks.
Why do they think that?
If you saw a group of guys talking by the corner store in baggy jeans and hoodies, would you be afraid to walk past them? What do you think they would be doing? I asked my kids that, and everything that they talked about was negative. They thought they’re probably selling drugs or waiting to rob somebody. Then I put three other guys there in suits, standing, doing the exact same thing. My kids thought they’re probably on their lunch break, all very positive things. Then we dissected that. I asked why they think that. Where do they get the notion that people in hoodies and baggy pants are up to no good? So we talk about that.
Not every kid’s in a gang
The day my daughter was shot, my son was upset. He was fighting with the police, because he was angry. I’ve never seen him like that. I went to the police station and they told me, “there was a kid at the shooting, he was fourteen, and we think he’s in a gang.” They were going to arrest my son. I said, “Hold up, my son is not in a gang!” If you look at the percentages, there’s a small number of kids who are in gangs. Not every kid’s in a gang.