When I found out that I was going to the hospital I was mad at myself for not being able to get better on my own. I was very scared because I didn’t know I was coming to the hospital until a few hours before. I didn’t get to say good bye to my friends, which was the hardest part.
A safe place
I came to the hospital because I could not control my anger. I did not want to come because it is locked but it is a safe place. People can help me keep safe if my anger gets out of control.
Not knowing what to expect
Before I was admitted to the hospital I imagined living in a hospital bed for weeks on a medical floor. I remember asking my mom if I was going to be able to take a shower. Packing was difficult because I did not know what to bring. I had never seen the place I was going to live. The hospital was much better than I expected.
No straitjackets
Before I came to the hospital I assumed it would look like an old hospital from the movies where they show patients in restraints and straitjackets. I was scared at first but it was okay when I got there. I got treatment for my family, and me, which was very helpful.
Feeling homesick
I was really confused when I was first admitted to the unit. I had a hard time sleeping in a room with other people I didn’t know and I was really homesick. It took about a week for me to feel comfortable. I’m still a little homesick so I’m working hard to get home as soon as possible.
When I first came to the hospital it was hard being away from home. They taught me to get distracted if I started to get homesick. I’ve noticed that with other patients this works as well. There is one girl, who was having a really hard time being away from home, but once you got her outside on a walk or playing a game she was fine.
Getting through it
You’re going to get through it eventually, so you just have to do your best and then you’ll get out of it faster. If you throw temper tantrums you’re just going to be there longer. The people in Children’s Hospital were really nice to me and it’s a really great hospital. You just have to try to do your best and you won’t have to be in it for that long.
Going home
Having an individual therapist at Children’s made my hospitalization much easier. Leaving was difficult because it is tough to leave all the people I’ve grown attached to. I know that the staff really cares about me. The best thing about leaving is the prospect of going home, using my computer, and living a normal life.
The beginning of my treatment at children’s
If you or someone close to you has ever experienced depression, you probably know that its course can wax and wane on its own, sometimes with no obvious explanation. For me, the years between ages twelve and seventeen were difficult, but I managed to pull myself through each day and even to sometimes have fun. Looking back, I think my feelings of disgust with my body eased a bit during this period as other kids also began to physically develop. But soon after the beginning of my senior year in high school, that old monster that I knew so well as a preteen came back for a visit, and this time, it planned to stay a while. The idea of graduating from high school and going out into the adult world of college terrified me. I knew I didn’t have the tools to handle it.
I began seeing a psychiatrist at Children’s Hospital and was hospitalized a month and a half later for severe depression and a trial of antidepressant medication. I was placed in a cardiac unit for monitoring because I have a minor heart arrhythmia and my doctors wanted to be certain that the antidepressant medication didn’t affect my heart rhythm. Although I felt safe and cared for in the hospital, I was also embarrassed and ashamed of being in a cardiac unit with kids who were truly sick with major heart ailments while I was “only” depressed. The doctors and nurses never made me feel as though I didn’t have a legitimate illness, but I kept the primary reason for my hospitalization secret from everyone but my immediate family. Both my parents and I knew that my relatives would not accept a psychiatric hospitalization for me; in their eyes, I was a smart, normal, happy kid. What in the world was I doing hospitalized for a trial of psychotropic drugs?
Before I was admitted to the hospital I imagined living in a hospital bed for weeks on a medical floor. I remember asking my mom if I was going to be able to take a shower. Packing was difficult because I did not know what to bring. I had never seen the place I was going to live. The hospital was much better than I expected. Although, I worked hard and was excited to return home. I wish I had a website that I could have gone to before I was admitted to the hospital.
Before hospitalization
Before I came to the hospital I assumed it would look like an old hospital from the movies where they show patients in restraints and straight jackets. I was scared at first but it was ok when I got there. I got treatment for my family, and me, which was very helpful.
Being admitted to the hospital
When I found out that I was going to the hospital I was mad at myself for not being able to get better on my own. I was very scared because I didn’t know I was coming to the hospital until a few hours before. I didn’t get to say good bye to my friends, which was the hardest part. If it works for you please let your kid know so they can say good bye.
Hospitalization
You’re going to get through it eventually, so you just have to do your best and then you’ll get out of it faster. If you throw temper tantrums you’re just going to be there longer. The people in Children’s Hospital were really nice to me and it’s a really great hospital. You just have to try to do your best and you won’t have to be in it for that long.
I was really confused when I was first admitted to the unit. I had a hard time sleeping in a room with other people I didn’t know and I was really homesick. It took about a week for me to feel comfortable. I’m still a little homesick so I’m working hard to get home as soon as possible.
Sometimes it’s hard to see a therapist
It’s hard to see a therapist because they ask a lot of questions. I want to make decisions about what helps me. Sometimes I feel like only I can help myself. You should not expect that the therapist can fix everything. You can’t fix everything by yourself either. You have to work together with your therapist to make things better. Sometimes I wonder why I’m on this unit, but the people here help, they make me smile and laugh, I still feel sad inside most of the time. I know when I’m sad because I scream, hit things, and sometimes I feel like dying. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. When I feel like this I want to run away, but I try to talk to someone and it helps. When people are depressed, they are quiet, look at their faces, try to make them laugh, and feel better inside.
When I am angry
I came to the hospital because I could not control my anger. I did not want to come because it is locked but it is a safe place. People can help me keep safe if my anger gets out of control.
When I am angry I start to crack my knuckles and kick. When I am sad I don’t talk much I feel hurt and insulted and I sometimes cry. My parents can tell when I am sad without me telling them.
What helped me during my hospital stay & discharge
Having an individual therapist at Children’s made my hospitalization much easier. Leaving was difficult because it is tough to leave all the people I’ve grown attached to. I know that the staff really cares about me. The best thing about leaving is the prospect of going home, using my computer, and living a normal life.