Parents should always talk to their kids, because they will remember. People don’t think so, but I’m 35 years old, and I remember my mom’s words. I tell my kids, “I would never want you to get involved in a gang. Gangs kill- imagine how that mother’s going to feel.”
Tell somebody
I tell my kids if somebody’s bothering them, go to a teacher. If the teacher doesn’t listen, go the principal or a counselor. Tell somebody. They can always tell me, but if I’m not there, tell somebody else before it escalates to something worse.
Tell the truth
I’m going to tell my child the truth, because she has to know what to do. She has to know what’s going on in her surroundings. If she sees somebody running, or something that’s not right, she needs to know to run to somewhere safe.
Your sister learned from you
You have to tell the older child, “Your sister learned from you. Your brother learned from you. You’re their role model. They’re going to copy you, and they’re going to do what you do. If you love them and want to keep them safe, you have to be safe and you have to love yourself.”
If you know something about any murder in Boston, that’s why they have a tip hotline. Pick up the phone, call the tip hotline, and give whatever information you know. Stop sitting back and just letting it happen. You’d rather see your family and friends suffer? Tell whoever doesn’t like it “oh well,” because that person could kill again, and then what? It’s another tragedy and on and on.
Pick and choose your friends
I told my daughter you have to pick and choose your friends. If one of your friends is a bad apple and you’re not, everybody’s going to automatically assume you’re just like her. I’m not saying you can’t see something good in people, but if you see your friend doesn’t want to change, leave her alone.
We sit and talk
My daughter is going to hear all kinds of things. Some of them are not going to be right. I keep certain newspapers, and my daughter reads The Outsiders. My daughter and I will sit and talk, she asks me questions, and I explain things to her.
You can’t just talk to kids, because they’re watching you. You can say, “Okay, this is the way it’s done,” but if you’re doing it the wrong way, they’re going to do it the wrong way because that’s what they’re seeing you do. So, you have to do what you say. You have to be an example to your kids.
Candid Conversations
I have candid conversations with my nine year old. When we’re in different neighborhoods, I’ve gotten into the habit of observing the neighborhoods and commenting on whether or not he thinks the neighborhood is safe, and why.
Having compassion
The bottom line is just saying to kids, “No one’s perfect. We’re all humans and we’re all products of our experiences.” You have to have a little compassion for folks.