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Eating and Exercise
The program taught me that I need more exercise. For instance, after school I should walk my dog for 20 minutes around the block. I should try to do things like that.
In terms of exercise, I’ve been working out a lot and playing sports. I’ve kept up my motivation. The clinicians at the clinic tell me good things, and say that I’m making a difference for myself.
When I was younger I used to play a lot of sports, but then my weight prevented me from doing that. I was always the slowest in gym class, and when I played basketball I would get tired really quickly. It was just hard.
My assignment has been to walk four times a week for 20 minutes. I find that I walk more than I have to, because you feel good afterwards; you’ve done something to help yourself lose weight.
My weight has gotten in the way of my doing a lot of things that my friends do, like sports. When I was younger I used to play softball a lot, but it was always hard because even at practice I couldn’t run like everyone else. I couldn’t run a lap around the field because I would get out of breath. I had friends who would walk with me because they knew I couldn’t run it, but it’s always hard when everybody around you can do things and you can’t. Like at school in gym we have to do these physical fitness tests, and normally I can never come near the requirements. It’s always hard when you know that everybody else can do it and you can’t.
One of my motivators is my football coach. I want to lose weight so that I can play football better.
I make exercise fun by thinking that I can do anything. Exercise is just moving around doing different kinds of stuff. So I make it fun and do different things like dancing and exercise videos and the cha-cha— anything! I do basketball and swimming, and I’m also going to play soccer in the fall. That’s why exercise is so much fun- because it can be anything you want.
I walk a lot. I used to sit around on weekends and watch a whole bunch of TV, and now I walk a lot. I actually go out every day on public transportation and walk to different places. I don’t stay in the house anymore. I’m learning how to be active outside instead of active in the television world.
I find certain types of exercise rewarding. If you try to make me run a lap, it’s frustrating. But if you just let me walk and have a great conversation, it’s very rewarding.
Usually on Halloween I eat one or two pieces of candy. Then when I get home I’ll put the rest of it up on top of the refrigerator. That gets it out of my mind.
I have disagreements with my family about food all the time. My mom tries to stop me from eating certain things, and I know she’s trying to help, but I still get mad at her. It’s like an addiction; I’ll get addicted to something, and then I’ll eat it even when I’m not hungry. She’ll tell me that I’m overeating, and I’ll get really mad. But I know that she’s only trying to help.
I sneak food a lot, like if I want something that I know I shouldn’t have, because I don’t want people to yell at me and I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I try to hide things a lot, but I know that’s got to stop if I’m going to lose weight.
Starting a Weight Loss Program I came to the program because my neurologist suggested it. Right now I have something called a pseudo tumor [in my brain]. They’re not really sure how I got it. One of the possibilities is that it’s my weight, and since I’m already overweight they figured it would be easier if I worked on my weight so they could cross that off the list of things that it could be. It was interesting to go talk to the people at the clinic. It was sort of awkward at first because I’d never done anything like that before, but I learned a lot there about eating and what I should eat— just basic knowledge. They gave me a bunch of menus with different foods to eat, and I found that really helpful.
I only went to the clinic for the first time yesterday, but afterwards I made smaller portions of my lunch and dinner, and this morning I had a less carb-filled breakfast than I usually do. Instead of a muffin, I had a piece of wheat bread with peanut butter on it, which is supposed to be better for me. I plan to make better decisions about what I eat and to exercise more.
I think anyone struggling with weight knows that they need to lose weight, but it’s finding the motivation to do it that’s the problem. Everyone knows that people eat because of emotion and not always just because they’re hungry. When you’re overweight, you get depressed when people make fun of you, and that’s one of the hardest things. When people are telling you that you need to lose weight, it just makes you want to eat more. So the hardest thing is coming to the realization that you can’t fix everything with food, and that you really need to stop eating. Not completely, obviously, but regulate meal times, and even allow yourself a snack or two a day— just don’t overdo it. For me that was the hardest thing.
I do sneak food, because I don’t like it when people see me eat; I feel self-conscious. If it’s a meal, and everyone is sitting down to eat, then I’ll eat with people. But if it’s not a meal, I’ll hide whatever I’m eating if anyone comes into the room. I just don’t like it when people see me eat. I feel even fatter than I am, just because I’m eating, and whatever I’m eating is also probably not the healthiest thing. I don’t want people to see me eat unhealthy food, because my family wants me to lose weight, and it’s the best thing for me. If they walk downstairs and find me eating a chocolate chip cookie or a bowl of ice cream or something, it’s not working, and I just feel like I’m disappointing them. I know I’m not, but that’s the feeling I get whenever I do something like that. So that’s why I sneak food.
I really like trying vegetables, because then that I know I am a step closer to getting a reward— not one that has to do with food, but one that I can have fun with. Also, I got a replacement for ice cream, and I like the replacement better because I know that it is better for me. It actually tastes better too.
Actually, after my first appointment, I came back and I wasn’t even trying to lose weight— I just trying to maintain my weight. But I actually lost five pounds! I wasn’t even trying. It’s mostly from not drinking juice and exercising more. Usually I do sports, but if you can’t join a team, just play outside in your backyard and it will work just as well.
On special occasions, I’ll just eat what I want to that day. My mom will say, “You can eat that, but tomorrow we’re going to watch what you eat.”
Since coming to the program, I changed my eating habits a lot, and I try to exercise some. Also, I can’t eat pasta anymore; I can’t eat carbohydrates or lots of sugar. But I can eat all the meat and vegetables I want.
Sometimes my weight is difficult, because my body temperature goes up as it gets hot. I get overheated very easily, so it’s hard to do stuff in the middle of the day. So I look for ways to exercise in the evenings. Also, with my eating, I made little changes, like making sure to eat at regular intervals, watching the amount I eat, and really cutting down on starches. I’m eating more vegetables and proteins, and I’m really conscious of things. That made a huge difference.
More than anything, my advice is that you don’t need to change your whole life. Every little change you make makes a huge difference. Eat your vegetables before your starch, and you may end up eating less starch. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, park on the far side of the parking lot… those little things really add up after a while. Also, nothing happens immediately. If I had given up while I was still gaining weight, I never would have gotten to the point where I was losing weight. There are so many factors that just persevering will make a difference. In terms of the way other people feel being teased or anything like that, it’s hard to just let things roll off you, but concentrate on the positive things. The families and friends of people who are overweight really understand that it’s a tough thing to struggle with. It’s just like getting over a broken ankle— you can’t just immediately walk again, and it’s a tough thing to do. The support of friends and family is important.
A lot of the healthy food tastes okay if you make it the right way. It’s annoying, though, when the clinicians say you can go out to eat but you have to “be good.” It’s annoying because then you see other people eating regular fried foods, and that makes it hard.
It’s okay if you have a treat once in a while, but you shouldn’t do it all the time. And you shouldn’t sneak food, because that’s pretty much just not helping you at all.
I like to choose my own meals, because then when I choose the right foods I can feel proud of myself, and I don’t have someone bugging me about it.
What we eat has changed since coming to the clinic. We don’t eat sugar or pasta anymore; we make a menu from the list of foods the nutritionist made up for us. There are things that we can and can’t eat that were discussed with us in the program. Some things I want to eat but I can’t eat.
What helped to keep me motivated was realizing that I lost the weight, so I could do things that other children who don’t weigh as much do. And there are other motivators too, like you’ll be able to play more sports, and you won’t be embarrassed about yourself. You just have to keep up with the meal plan. Cooking is not hard; it’s easy and fun to cook meals for yourself, and the recipes taste good.
My eating habits have changed a lot since coming to the program. I’ve learned to eat smaller portions and to watch out for all of the bad things that you should stay away from. My exercise habits have also changed a lot. I went out and bought a treadmill and I’ve been using it; that really helped.
I live with my grandmother, and when I go outside after we have dinner to get some frozen yogurt or something she’ll say, “You really shouldn’t eat that; go put it away.” But that will just make me want to eat it more and more, because I’m kind of rebellious, and I don’t want to do what she says. The more she tells me not to, the more I want to. We get into fights a lot where I’ll go to eat something and she’ll say, “That’s so bad for you. Don’t eat it; put it down.” It’s really frustrating, because you don’t want someone to tell you what to eat. You want someone to be there to support you in the decisions that you make.
There is one assumption that I always think about people making: if I’m eating lunch or something, they’ll think that fat people eat more. But that’s not necessarily true. When I used to get made fun of, there would always be fast food jokes, but the thing is, what if I had a disease that made me gain weight, or I was on medicine that made me gain weight? How terrible would they feel if I couldn’t help it? People just assume that fat people eat more and that they’re lazy.
Sometimes I do hide what I eat. Not when I’m at home, because I don’t care what my grandmother says, but when I’m at school I don’t like to eat in front of people. I’ll just wait until I get home or eat a light snack. Sometimes you can’t help but worry about what other people are thinking of you.
It feels good to change the way you eat, because there is a reward. When you work hard at it and then you hear that you lost 5 pounds, it’s really rewarding. But it’s hard to do.
I don’t really like to exclude myself from what’s going on. If I’m out with my friends, I’m not going to go to a different place to eat, but I’m also not going to choose something that’s bad. If they’re getting fried food, I might get a sandwich or something that I think is a better choice, but I’m not going to exclude myself from what they’re doing and go to a different restaurant just because they don’t have salads or something.
I pick different snacks for myself, and mom does the lunches and suppers. The only time I choose what I eat is snacks and breakfasts. But I like to help pick, because most of the time I have the same old thing, and I want to try new things that I can still have.
My grandma lets me cheat on holidays only, and I think that it’s fair to cheat on holidays, but only on holidays. Holidays don’t really come around that often, and I just think that it’s fair for a person to cheat at least once in a while.
I used to eat in my room for a while. No one could see me. When I used to eat at home, I would take my spoon and I would eat really fast. I wouldn’t even chew my food well; I would just shove it in my mouth, chew, swallow, and shove a bunch more in my mouth. My mom used to tell me that my food is not going to run away from me, and I know that, but still. Then I learned that when you eat fast, and when you put a lot of food in your mouth, you might think you’re hungry even though you’re really full.
I like to choose my own meals, but with that freedom come restrictions, so I don’t go to fast food places. I don’t like being forced to eat something healthy.
The hardest thing about being on my diet is when I see my brother eating stuff that I can’t have. Then I just feel depressed and sad. But I know he’s not going to be healthy when he grows up, and I am. That’s all I have to remember to make me feel better.
When I first came to the clinic, I was really frustrated. Before I developed a brain tumor, I was less than 120 pounds, I was a size six, and I had just lost a lot of weight. I’d never been very heavy, but I felt really happy with myself. After my tumor, I didn’t change anything and I gained 100 pounds in the first year or so. By the time I came to the clinic, I was about three times the weight I had been before my tumor. My back was hurting, my ankles were hurting, and I didn’t know what I could do to change; I already exercised and didn’t eat very much. I was very discouraged as to what the possibilities were going to be. After my tumor, they didn’t even know if it was possible for me to lose weight.
Just the everyday aspects of my weight are a struggle. It’s hard to understand— it’s not just that I need to eat less or I need to lose weight; it’s all the compounding factors. I have trouble staying awake, I work slowly, I get out of breath quickly, and I get overheated. You feel like if someone could take away three of those factors, it would be easier to deal with. The hard part is trying to combat all of the situations.
I would have to say that getting tired easily and not being able to keep up with my brother when we played outside were the earliest signs that made me feel like I had a problem with my weight.
Since I started the program, I eat a little bit healthier, and I work out. I’ve been going to the football field with my dad, and we’ve been kicking the football around and stretching and running.
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Copyright © 2005, Children's
Hospital Boston Department of Psychiatry. All Rights Reserved. The information on this website should not be taken as medical advice, which can only be given to you by your personal health care professional. July 10, 2005 |
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