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Remembering and Honoring Our Child
Getting Through My Tough Times What gets me through my tough times is when I’m doing something in his memory. For example, I plan the team for the Jimmy Fund walk. We also established a scholarship at the high school in his memory. I find it very comforting whenI do something that helps me remember and honor his life. I get a good feeling of satisfaction. Keeping his memory alive is very helpful. -Mother It’s really important for me to let other people know that just because we’ve lost a child doesn’t mean that he didn’t exist. -Mother Every year we do a skating fundraiser for Make-A-Wish. That’s one thing that keeps her alive in our minds. -Father I guess we try to find positive ways to honor Paulina. You want to help do something that would make a positive difference to someone else’s life. That’s part of our healing process. -Mother We were able to get handprints done at Children's. From those handprints, we made charms for necklaces. Everybody got something different. Her handprint is on the front and the back of it, and her name is written on it. On the back of mine it also says her date of birth and date of death on it. It says “My little angel” on the back of my husband’s. We also got one for my son, which he placed on a necklace, and wears it on special occasions and when he asks to wear it. -Mother We have a solar light and a little rock garden in our backyard that we made out there around this oak tree. We put the solar light underneath the oak tree which has become a memorial spot for Libby. We have a little stone marker out there. It’s a little rock that’s engraved and it says something like “For those days we have held in our hands for a short while, we hold in our hearts forever.” -Mother We started an award at the local high school. We’ve given it to a senior every year that is able to complete a goal regardless of any barriers that he or she might have. It’s not necessarily an A student for whom success comes to naturally; but rather to someone who has worked very hard and is able to accomplish a B. It’s to honor somebody who is a hard worker. -Mother I developed a very close relationship with the nurses, and on the night when he was dying, one of the nurses shared with me this idea of printing out letters with letterhead and envelopes with our family’s address on it, and asking people attending the wake and the different events to take it and write a memory of our child and send it back to us. That was such a terrific idea, and we did that. I had a printing friend who could do it for us, but anyone can do it with just address labels. So, starting on the day of the funeral, I started getting the letters in the mail, because people couldn’t articulate it well verbally, and we had over 1,000 people at his wake and I didn’t remember what was said about him during those days, it was such a blur, but to have something concrete like that, that you can create memories. -Mother
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Hospital Boston Department of Psychiatry. All Rights Reserved. The information on this website should not be taken as medical advice, which can only be given to you by your personal health care professional. Updated: December 23, 2007 |
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